Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Our society enforces the impression upon us that we as women need to do it all in order to have it all. As women we buy into this notion and in turn attempt to meet this standard so we feel whole; so we feel as if we are meeting and living up to everyone's expect ions.
I have had this conversation countless times in my Gender Class and it always strikes a lively discussion. It typically becomes the women that "want to have and do it all" vs those that want either a career or a family, not both. The men are presented with ideas and emotions new to them and ones they never thought of as they rarely perform the "second shift."
I have followed the path of those that wanted a career and my entire life I have been driven towards working as much as possible to advance myself. I have held multiple jobs for years to make the type of money I needed and wanted.the fact that I have had to work 3 jobs in order to earn the same income some of my male counterparts do for just one of the jobs has is evidence that there are still huge wage differences between the sexes. I have never been bitter just aware I am one of the many women that lives the pay gap.
As I age and my life circumstances shift I feel my ideologies and values shifting as well. I am more financially secure and accordingly I do not need to work as much and because I am tired I do not want to work as much. Rather than working and trying to change the world I feel myself wanting to give my all to my family. I want to be able to care more for my grandmother. I want to be home more to make sure we are all eating healthy lunches and dinners, together. I want to be available for after school games, homework, and activities. I want to go for after dinner walks instead of going to teach a class. I do not desire to put forth more than my 8-5 in the office as I don't see the pay off. I'm valued more by my loved ones while also find it to be a better investment to spend my time at home caring for our family, pets, yard, etc.
Being there for and with my family is the most important contribution I can make. I have given 17 + years serving in all my professional roles. I love my work & want to continue with my job and my teaching, but I want to turn it off at the end of the day and return to the most important role I have and that is as a partner, daughter, granddaughter, sister, role model, caregiver and companion to family and friends.
It's taken a long time to figure it out but at home is not only where I can make the biggest difference it is where I am happiest. I have laughed more in the past two weeks then I feel I have in a very long time. I have also felt less stressed, which has not only allowed me to be kinder, but I have felt more loving than I was capable of before. I no longer live to work but work to live. I do not want it all and in fact I have more than enough; blessed beyond measures! I no longer want the second shift and realizing this has allowed me to start making the changes needed to move in a more desired direction.
Refocusing and remembering you don't need to do it all to have it all. None of us have to continue taking on the second shift. In fact, when we don't do it all but simply do less we have so much more. We have the greatest gift; the moments, the time to do that which we love more. We all can, should, & deserve to love the life we live by living the life we love.
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Fourth of July, Fireworks, BBQ, Fun....yep I missed it all and I would not change a thing. I've been in the hospital with the most Wondrous Woman I know for over a week now and there's no place I'd rather be. Not only have I observed how our mindset & personal willpower to live can overcome most. I have witnessed first hand how compassionate, caring strangers support impacts our perseverance and daily existence.
The power of love is amazing and necessary for healing. When we are loved, supported, and cared for unconditionally we can overcome all. Not everyone has the blessing of being surrounded by an unwavering support system. Yet all humans deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, and tenderness.
I have observed kindness, compassion, and softness over the past few days and it has blown my mind. The work of our medical professionals is surreal and possibly one of the most important and hardest jobs I have ever witnessed. Having the desire and ability to work strenuous hours while maintaining the patience and passion to embrace strangers with a huge heart, tend touch, and gentle tone is so special.
We all should be practicing the skills the majority of our nurses, aides, and medical staff posses. If we all could be so kind, considerate, and tender with each other our world would be a much better place. Soft touches, big smiles, kind hearts, gentle tones, and always wishing the best for others....our daily gestures of compassion for life, love & happiness could heal all!
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
“No one else "makes us angry." We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude. What someone else may have done is irrelevant. We choose, not they. They merely put our attitude to a test. -Jim Rohn”
So easy to read and intellectually understandable but seems to be challenging to practice. However, if you can learn to slow down your emotions and reactions to experiences, people, & events you can gradually implement the words of Jim Rohn.
When we repeat our intentions, behaviors, and actions they then become habit. When you practice maintaining your power you can continue to enjoy and remain positive even when things aren’t always going your way.
Life and the quality of yours is about how you handle what you are handed. Each of us has the choice for how we wish to react to any and all situations. We can allow people to infuriate us or we can learn to lessen their impact and power over us.
Start by remembering everyone is human and no one is perfect. Remind yourself that you are only in control and responsible for you. We have no true ability to control another, nor should we want to. Be cognitive that what another has done, even if they have wronged you, is irrelevant and not for your concern. Remain focused on yourself and your reaction; your attitude.
The art of maintaining control of yourself is a gift and one that can help keep you alive. It can allow you to choose your path in all situations. You can remain optimistic while keep a constant focus on the one thing you can control, YOU! None of us are powerless in the position you choose to presume.....I implore you to remember that so you can constantly aspire for an attitude that is full of bliss and bests!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
We need not worry and instead need to practice presence! How many of you find yourself wasting time worrying about things that may or may not happen? Typically we stress over things we have no control over. We worry about whether we have enough money, what we will cook for friends coming to dinner, about the latest mate and whether they like us, what time we have to share with others, whether we are worthy, what we will do if XYZ happens, whether we are smart enough, what to wear, whether you are pretty enough, etc. We are wasting precious moments by worrying about the what’s and whether?!
Rather than wasting precious time fretting over what’s and whether, let’s start spending our time being completely conscious of what we are doing every second of our waking moments. We can practice being present in everything we are doing and with whom we are so privileged to be sharing our time with. Pay attention to every detail…..the birds chirping, a friend smiling at you, a lover kissing you, laughing with family, the peace of the sun setting, reading a book, holding hands, …… Embrace every moment with every person you encounter. Be mindful of the solitude and inner peace when alone. When we are attentive to the things that really matter in life and give that credit versus the worries, we will find we are so much happier and at peace with ourselves and our lives. Presence everyday is how we live the wondrous way!